As you sit at your desk, I stand behind you. I reach down, put my hands on top of your hands from behind, embracing you as I place your hands on your keyboard. I mash your fingers into the keyboard, and after a few tries, we manage to spell out your ridiculous question in the search bar on google.com. Holding the top of your right hand, I place it on your mouse, and direct your pointer to the “search” button. When I press my finger into the top of your index finger, the mouse makes an audible click, and I lean in and whisper directly into your disgusting ear, “I fucking hate you more than I can convey with mere words. Learn how to use your computer or I’m going to shit in your mouth while you’re sleeping. Cunt.” I stand up and slowly back into the shadows, disappearing with only the sound of all your shit breaking. You’ll never see me again, but every time you have someone else do a simple web search for you, you’ll think of me and cry a little.